Kale and Hearty: White Bean and Kale Soup with Turkey Sausage

(In celebration of Memorial Day, this will be my last post until Tuesday. Hope y’all have lovely long weekends, and don’t forget the sunscreen!)

My experience with leafy greens has been somewhat limited. Salads and simple sauteés mostly, with the occasional collard green experiment thrown in to alleviate the boredom. Oh, and once, I cooked chard for so long it burned to the pot, causing a chemical/produce scent unrivalled by even the foulest San Joaquin poop lagoon. I still owe my old roommate R a new pot for that, plus a few years in nasal therapy.

Why have I never keened on to those heralded emerald veggies? I could resort to, “My Mama never made ‘em,” and it would be true. Clichéd, but true. More truthfully though, they never did much for me. For years, I pegged all leafy greens as tarted-up lettuce – crisp, crunchy, and destined to live eternity out as sandwich toppers. Every time I sauntered through a supermarket, I callously overlooked them, contented to live happily with my carrots and mushrooms.

Then, this week, I met kale. Kale and I knew each other through friends and the infrequent restaurant side dish, but we never really sat down for an extended meal. That changed with Closet Cooking’s White Bean and Kale Soup with Turkey Sausage. Nuanced, filling, and over-the-moon healthy, it made me want to develop a real relationship with kale - one where we could stroll on the beach and whisper love songs by the light of the moon. Of course, eventually one of us would be mercilessly consumed, but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t give it a shot.

As ever, there are one or two (or three) things to know about this recipe:

1) When you first chop the kale, odds are it will barely fit in the pot. (My gigantic dutch oven was just big enough.) Give it a few minutes. It’ll wilt to about 1/8th of the size.

2) You may need more or less stock/water. Seven cups of stock, plus two cups of precious agua did it for me.

3) The scent is outrageously good, and it will make other people want your food. A legal temp almost mugged me at the office microwave yesterday.

This kale encounter has encouraged me to try some of its jade-hued kin. Who knows? Next week it could be mustard greens. The week after that, amaranth. Then ... I don't know. I'm still learning.

Happy vacation!

White Bean and Kale Soup with Turkey Sausage
14 cups of soup or 9 1-1/2 cup servings

1 pound Italian turkey sausage (casing removed)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion (chopped)
2 cloves garlic (chopped)
2 stalks celery (chopped)
2 carrots (chopped)
1 28 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 14.5 ounce can white beans
1 bunch kale (chopped)
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 bay leaf
1/4 red pepper flakes (optional)
salt and pepper to taste
1 parmigiano reggiano rind (optional)
* chicken stock (I needed 7 cups of 99% fat-free stock and 2 cups of water. – Kris)

1) Brown the sausage in a large pan and set aside.

2) Heat the oil in the same pan. Add the onions and saute until tender, about 7-10 minutes.

3) Add the garlic and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

4) Add the sausage, celery, carrots, tomatoes, white beans, kale, oregano, bay leaf, red pepper flakes, parmigiano reggiano rind.

5) Add enough chicken stock to cover. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat and simmer for 30-60 minutes.

6) Remove the bay leaf and parmigiano reggiano rind. Serve garnished with chopped parsley and grated parmigiano reggiano.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
224.4 calories, 7.4 g fat, $0.94

Calculations
1 pound Italian turkey sausage: 700 calories, 40 g fat, $2.50
1 tablespoon olive oil: 119 calories, 13.5 g fat, $0.12
1 onion: 46 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.18
2 cloves garlic: 9 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10
2 stalks celery: 11 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.50
2 carrots: 50 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.20
1 28 ounce can diced tomatoes: 163 calories, 0 g fat, $0.99
1 14.5 ounce can white beans: 482 calories, 1.2 g fat, $0.50
1 bunch kale: 335 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.98 (I estimated this at 10 cups. - Kris)
1/2 teaspoon oregano: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1 bay leaf: negligible calories and fat, $0.03
1/4 red pepper flakes (optional): negligible calories and fat, $0.01
salt and pepper to taste: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
7 cups 99% fat-free chicken stock: 105 calories, 7 g fat, $2.33
2 cups of water: negligible calories and fat, $0.00
TOTAL: 2020 calories, 66.9 g fat, $8.47
PER SERVING (TOTAL/9): 224.4 calories, 7.4 g fat, $0.94

Veggie Might: That’s What I Was Going to Say

by Leigh

This past weekend, my cute doggie, Snack, and I participated in a bike ride to promote pet adoption. Here’s a cute photo of Snack and a link to Rational Animal rescue collective. Adopt a pet and love forever!

Even before Kris asked me to write for CHG, I’d been thinking about what my Veggie Manifesto might say. It would not try to convert omnivores to the fold (though you may think otherwise from my first post—really, I was just making a correlation to our current eco/enviro situation); but it would respond to the same old questions and frequent (and unprovoked) defensiveness I encounter from meat eaters.

Then someone wrote it for me—my Veggie Manifesto—almost word for word. Almost.

In the Slate article, Meatless Like Me, Taylor Clark tells omnivores everything they’ve ever wanted to know about veggies, with a sense of humor and a dose of reality. I heard the podcast version while walking home from work one rainy evening last week. With every new point, I smiled and gave a little “amen, brother!” from under my umbrella.

Point one: We are regular people. Clark explains, “Imagine a completely normal person with completely normal food cravings, someone who has a broad range of friends, enjoys a good time, is carbon-based, and so on. Now remove from this person’s diet anything that once had eyes, and, wham!, you have yourself a vegetarian.”

We’re just like you, but with a plant-based diet. Not necessarily health-nuts, not necessarily activists, just people who choose not to eat meat, just as you might choose not to eat shellfish or horseradish.

I was beginning to feel liberated.

Point two: We want decent food in restaurants. Clark implores, “We really appreciate that you included a vegetarian option on your menu (and if you didn’t, is our money not green?), but it may interest you to know that most of us are not salad freaks on a grim slog for nourishment. We actually enjoy food, especially the kind that tastes good.”

Preach it!

Though, in New York City, I have little to complain about, it can still be tricky to eat out. When dining with my omni friends, I’m accustomed to making meals of sides, appetizers, and parts of entrees to the annoyance of many a waiter and chef to be sure. But I’m used to it. When I go to a vegetarian restaurant, it takes me hours to order; it’s such a novelty—and sometimes a burden—being able to choose from everything on the menu.

Point three: We don’t care what you eat. Clark reassures, “As you’re enjoying that pork loin next to me, I am not silently judging you.” That’s right, omnis. Go ahead and enjoy your osso buco. Savor that porterhouse. As long as I don’t have to eat it (or cook it for you), it doesn’t bother me. I grew up eating meat; I’ve served meat in restaurants (Who had the lamb shank?); I’ve only ever dated meat eaters. The people who attempt to make you feel guilty about your life choices are just, well, obnoxious. And if you feel guilty eating chicken Marsala on a date with your new vegan boyfriend, let me assure you, it’s your issue, not his.

There is one thing I would add or change in my version of the Veggie Manifesto. For me it goes beyond diet, into lifestyle territory.

While Clark is comfortable wearing leather as he shuns a roast beef sandwich, I find that contradiction hard to stomach. He challenges the reader to find a pair of nonleather dress shoes. May I kindly point you here, here, and here? And Portland, where Clark resides, is the home of the first vegan mini mall, which can probably help him find local vegan shoe options.

But his point is well taken. We can drive ourselves crazy trying to be the perfect vegetarian or vegan. (And if you eat fish or chicken sometimes, you’re neither.) We have to set boundaries we can live with. After that, we are only accountable to our own consciences.

So why do meat eaters become so defensive in the presence of vegetarians? Clark doesn’t really ask this question, but I’m curious. I’m not referring to a discussion of the lifestyle between willing participants. I’m talking about unsolicited attacks on the wisdom of my food choices based on presumed lack of dietary merits, ethical differences, or just plain antagonism. Does the perceived deprivation of the vegetarian lifestyle make people uncomfortable? Make them feel like they should be doing something they’re not?

If that’s it, then everyone can relax. I am not deprived. I don’t starve (which you could tell if you could see me), and I enjoy the food I eat. I don’t even miss the meat. Sometimes I get a little wistful when I think of crab cakes or smell fried chicken, but it doesn’t last. I savor the memories and enjoy the vegetarian bounty before me.

Hosanna!

(Shoe photo courtesy of Flickr member shoe la la.)

CHG Favorites of the Week: The Cake Edition

Food Blog of the Week
Allergic Girl
Tree nuts, salmon, eggplant, melon, tropical fruits, and lemongrass are just a few of the banes of Allergic Girl’s existence. For three years, she’s “maintained a wheat/gluten-free, processed sugar-free, lactose-free, soy-free, low processed food-free lifestyle.” These are her stories. (And also her motherlode of food allergy resources, which could be super-helpful to anyone out there with similar issues.)

Food Book of the Week
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Ooooo, this is bleak. Bleakbleakbleak. Like, why-do-I-bother-eating-this-orange-we-all-eventually-die-anyway bleak. Yet! Every time the main characters find food, it sounds like an unparalleled feast. It’s the only novel I can recall where canned pears sound better than ten birthday cakes. Read it and savor. (And weep, too. Trust me, there will be a lot of that).

Food Comedy of the Week
Jim Gaffigan on cake
First, it was bacon. Then, Hot Pockets. Now, it’s sweet, wonderful cake. I think Jim Gaffigan likes food. (And thank goodness.)



Food Organization of the Week
Bake Me a Wish
Speaking of cake, the Boston Globe recently ran this article about Bake Me a Wish, a New York-based baking business that ships the sugary confections to and from U.S. troops overseas. While not a philanthropy per se, you can make donations. So log on! Your favorite airman/seaman/marine/etc. will thank you for it.

Food Quote of the Week
Bill Cosby, on his wife catching him feeding the kids chocolate cake for breakfast: “I've always heard about people having a conniption but I've never seen one. You don't want to see 'em. My wife's face split. My wife's face split and the skin and hair split and came off of her face so that there was nothing except a skull. And orange lights came out of her hair and there was glitter all around. And fire shot from her eye sockets and began to burn my stomach and she said, ‘WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?’ And I said, ‘They asked for it!’ And the children who had been singing praises to me... LIED on me and said, ‘Uh-uh! We asked for eggs and milk... AND DAD MADE US EAT THIS!’ And my wife sent me to my room... which is where I wanted to go in the first place.”

Food Tip of the Week
This one comes straight from The Boyfriend’s mom: to clean your dish sponge, wet it and nuke it in the microwave for a minute. It should kill all the lurking germs. Be VERY careful with removal, though, and make absolutely sure the sponge is damp. Otherwise, disaster.

Untried Cheap, Healthy Recipe of the Week
Chicken and Mango Skewers at Sunday Dish
Food on a stick! And it’s every color of the rainbow!

Food Video of the Week
“Short Skirt/Long Jacket” by Cake
While we’re on this whole cake thing…

40 Greatest Songs About Food: Part II

Ladies and gentlemen, you're just in time for the second half of CHG's 40 Greatest Songs About Food! Sit back and behold!

20) “Me in Honey” by R.E.M.
Kate Pierson is sadly absent from this live performance, but bassist Mike Mills fills in nicely.

19) “Gin and Juice” by Snoop Dogg
C’mon, Snoop – it was never hard being you.

18) “Peaches” by Presidents of the United States of America
Note: This is a band, not our actual Commander in Chief. (As you know, Dubya's biggest hit is about pretzels.)

17) “Blueberry Hill” by Louis Armstrong
Adjust your eyes – it’s Satchmo in EXTREME close up. You can see his pores!

16) “Candy” by Iggy Pop with Kate Pierson
Has Iggy Pop ever worn a shirt, ever? I could draw the man’s nipples from memory.

15) “Pulling Mussels From a Shell” by Squeeze
My second favorite Squeeze song, narrowly beating out “Nail in My Heart.”

14) “Lunch Lady Land” by Adam Sandler
Yeah, it’s not the same without Chris Farley’s original SNL choreography, but still one of Sandler’s best.

13) “Ice Cream” by Sarah McLachlan
Reader (and first commenter) nonrunner! I hear you!

12) “Rock Lobster” by B-52’s
Okay, so this is Kate Pierson’s third appearance in the Top 20. I didn’t even know I liked her that much. COVET THE BEEHIVE!

11) “Alice’s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie
Every Thanksgiving at noon, my family ceases turkey preparation to listen to our local classic rock station play “Alice’s Restaurant.” It’s as important to our holiday as the stuffing.

10) “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard
For years, I thought the lyric to this was, “You want some sugar?/Well have some more!” when it was actually, “Do you take sugar?/One lump or two?” I liked my version better.

9) “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways
Adolescent rage at its ragiest.

8) “Lost in the Supermarket” by The Clash
“I wasn’t born so much as I fell out.” Best line ever? I say possibly.

7) “Le Poisson” from The Little Mermaid
I could only find the Broadway audio, but picture: a large, animated French chef rhapsodizing on his weakness for seafood, as a talking, calypso-happy Jamaican crustacean scurries away in terror. I’ll give you a minute.

6) “Just Like Honey” by The Jesus and Mary Chain
Get ready … get set … GAZE AT YOUR NAVEL!

5) “Milkshake” by Kelis
I’m not sure if any song has been used in more movies and TV shows. But “Mean Girls” (and wondrous Fey) employed it best.

4) “Baby’s Got Sauce” by G. Love and Special Sauce
I’m pretty sure this was the only song in rotation at my freshman year college radio station. I associate it very strongly with weak beer and young adult angst.

3) “Mayonaise” by Smashing Pumpkins
Hey! Billy Corgan had hair once.



2) “Brown Sugar” by The Rolling Stones
What a far-out tune! Call me crazy, but I think these kids are going places.



1) “Eat It” by “Weird Al” Yankovic
Like it wasn’t gonna be Weird Al. (The link is the original video. The embedded piece below is just funny.)


And that's it, dear readers. I hope you enjoyed this musical interlude, and are already preparing for next week's Wednesday article, which will most likely be about saving money on food. (Go figure.) Excelsior!

P.S. So - in the countdown, what'd I miss?

40 Greatest Songs About Food: Part I

It’s been pretty serious around here lately, between the food crisis and well, uh, the food crisis. So, I’d like to lighten things up with the sweet, sweet sounds of music. Namely, music dealing with food. Even more namely, my favorite 40 songs marginally related to food, determined by no method other than my own dabolical whim.

Subsequently - be on the lookout! This hour it’s #21-40, and a little later in the day #1-20 will make an appearance. Unfortunately, I can't embed all the videos (I tried, Blogger crashed), but the links will take you right to YouTube.

So! Without further ado! Here goes.

40) "Lady Marmalade" by LaBelle
Eat your heart out, Aguilera.

39) "Eat to the Beat" by Blondie
The link only contains about 20 seconds of the single, but it’s worth a look for Debbie Harry’s general gloriousness.

38) "Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen
Diamond Dave could sing a Con Ed brochure and still make it sound vaguely suggestive. The Good Humor Man shares this fate.

37) "Banana Chips" by Shonen Knife
They’re Japan’s Ramones! Only way cuter.

36) "The Lemon Song" by Led Zeppelin
It’s a song! About lemons! Maybe. Probably not. Definitely not. Okay, it’s actually about the ladies. But the word “lemon” appears in the title. So it counts.

35) "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow
Annabella Lwin was only 16 when this came out. My Ma would have killed me for the haircut alone.

34) "Brown Sugar" by D’Angelo
The first of two "Brown Sugar"s to appear on the list. (Um, I may have just given something away.)

33) "Breakfast in America" by Supertramp
I spent years thinking this was Led Zeppelin. I’m not so smart.

32) "Chocolate Salty Balls" by Chef (South Park)
Note: not actually about delicious treats. You may want to clear the kids out for a sec.

31) "Banana Boat Song" by Harry Belafonte
Featuring Fozzy Bear and a whole bunch of Muppets.

30) "Coffee and TV" by Blur
More notable for the video than the tune. Take pity on the milk carton!

29) "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" by Billy Joel
As a native Long Islander, it’s my moral duty to include this.

28) "She Don’t Use Jelly" by The Flaming Lips
If you haven’t heard any Lips since "Jelly," please listen to Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots right now.

27) "Green Onions" by Booker T. and the MGs
Get down with the instrumental section!

26) "Trapped in the Drive Thru" by “Weird Al” Yankovic
R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” is pre-requisite viewing for this. It’s just as funny, if not more so.

25) "Know Your Chicken" by Cibo Matto
This song has been in my head since 1996. I apologize for putting it in yours.

24) "Rapper’s Delight" by The Sugarhill Gang
There’s a whole verse about fried chicken! Mmm ... chicken.

23) "That’s Amore" by Dean Martin
Taste the martinis!

22) "The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead" by XTC
Man, I love this track. I wish I had clever commentary, but it just comes out as gushing adoration.

21) "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet
SPRING BREAK!

The second half of the countdown is coming shortly! Keep your eyes peeled.