Bite 1: (*chews slowly, thoughtfully*) Uh huh. Uh huh. (*swallows*) Hm. Nothing … nothing … what’s going on here? All the reviews said this would be an insane new … YEOW! THERE it is. What kind of bizarro Twilight Zone tang IS that? My tongue! What’s happening to my TONGUE?
Bite 4: Okay, the crazypants epiglottal sensation has died down a bit, but I still can’t place this flavor. It’s sweet? It’s savory? I guess? Can I get some help here?
Bite 7: All right, all right. I’m getting this. Balsamic vinegar and strawberries … they’re Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. One’s a sassy, be-afro’ed New Yorker and the other’s a tragically handsome Midwesterner. You’re not really sure they’ll work together at first, but they do, and it’s a beautiful thing. Then she sings and they break up, and you cry a little, but it’s all good in the end, because she’s found herself and everybody’s okay.
(That metaphor went off the rails somewhere.)
Bite 10: Wow. This is really luscious. I think this might replace strawberries and chocolate as my new favorite strawberry-related pairing. Who thought this up? Was it a chef? Some nice lady in Utah? Maybe it was accidental, like the dude who lucked on to vulcanized rubber? Whatever. I need to write a thank you note.
Bite 13: Holy moly. That was delicious. (*glances around nervously to see if anyone’s watching*) Hey roommates! Are you home? Anyone? Okay. (*raises bowl to mouth, furiously licks it clean*) Ahhh … yeah, that did it. I’ll be sleeping soundly, dreaming of various fruit/vinegar pairings if anyone needs me.
Strawberries with Balsamic Vinegar
6 servings if used as topping
4 servings if standing as dessert alone
Adapted from All Recipes.
16 ounces fresh strawberries, hulled and large berries cut in half
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, or to taste
1) In a small bowl, gently combine strawberries, vinegar, and sugar. Cover. Do not put in fridge. Instead, "let sit at room temperature for at least 1 hour but not more than 4 hours." Sprinkle pepper over berries and serve immediately. Vanilla ice cream, angel food cake, or pound cake make good partners.
Approximate Calories, Price, and Fat Per Serving
6 servings (as topping): 55 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.29
4 servings (as dessert): 83 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.43
16 ounces fresh strawberries: 145 calories, 1.4. g fat, $1.50
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar: 20 calories, 0 g fat, $0.15
1/4 cup white sugar: 186 calories, 0 g fat, $0.08
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, or to taste: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 331 calories, 1.4 g fat, $1.74
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 55 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.29
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 83 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.4